wherein i am a douchebag

“so, how’s the new place coming along?”

*eye twitch*

ask me one more mother flipping time how the new apartment is coming along, even though you totally know i don’t have any mother flipping furniture to sit on, and no, watching HBO on demand for hours on end in a lawn chair doesn’t count as mother flipping furniture.

i get it- it’s the polite thing to ask when people move. but people, neither of my living rooms have couches, half of our belongings are still in boxes, i can’t hang up or put any of my clothes away until i get paid on the 12th and spend all my money on a large armoire, our kitchen window won’t be installed until the end of the week, i won’t have new kitchen cabinets until the end of the month, i haven’t even painted the hallway or kitchen yet, and i am up to my eyelids in laundry.

frick.

the only rooms that make sense right now are the bedroom and bathroom- and thank goodness for that because i would be about ready to pack up and leave if i had to sleep on the floor or shit in a bucket at this point. and even still, dan was showering when one of the knobs on the faucet flew off, hit him in the leg, and wouldn’t screw back on. lucky for us, my landlord was around the corner because he’d just dropped me off after our visit to home depot, but for the love of christ. our kitchen window is a fucking cardboard box (barely) holding on with painters’ tape.

it has been the slowest moving process of my entire existence, and that’s sad considering i’ve moved nine times in the last five years. i am getting chest pains every time i think of all the work left to do. i’m heartbroken to be selling the one piece of furniture i am so completely in love with because it won’t fit through the front freaking door. and i can’t even get a new couch until i sell this one, because i need the money for it considering i’m a broke ass.

sigh.

i’ve had the opportunity to get more work done two or three times this week, but i’m sick of humans and strangers being in my house. the landlord, the contractors, the cable guy, the internet guy… i appreciate the help my family and friends have been offering but i am so sick of wearing pants. and i am so over all the blisters from building shit and painting all the time. and i just want things to be finished.

and yes, this is me whining like a four-year-old because i didn’t fucking sign up for this bullshit (well, sort of. to a certain extent).

/end rant.

moose and i had to be up early saturday morning for the cable guy, so we just cuddled and watched some tv together

and i am only posting this because i actually spend every waking moment talking to jessi… she is my long distance lover, and i actually talk to her more than any other human in the universe. more than my actual local friends. and we send each other stupid pictures constantly, and this was no exception… she wanted a picture of my outfit before i left the house saturday night, but first i sent her this with the caption “wtf, every pair of tights i own has some pretty questional holes!”

…case in point

my good friend julie is leaving for BC forever :( … on saturday we got to have a nice girlie dinner with some friends and then head back to her place for some drinks. here’s julie being silly!

on sunday dan and i spent literally the entire day in bed together, it was perfect, and it was nice to soak it all in FOR ONCE! we didn’t get out of bed until 4pm!

my handsome babies

i don’t know if this is too dark for you to see, but moose is passed the fuck out! and i am watching the crazies on tmn… perfect sunday night while dan was at band practice.

i’ll check back when i’m less wrist-slitty.

send love, please :(

xx

13 thoughts on “wherein i am a douchebag

  1. You silly boob.
    When all of this will be over and done with you will have the best looking apartment ever. So, stay alive, please.
    Don’t make me steal your apartment from you.

    • i will try not to kill myself, I GUESS.

      please steal it? do all the work for me and call me when you’re done? although, dan might find it weird that some tall, skinny girl, with hair is sleeping next to him, and not this short midget with a lesbian mullet.

      HAR HAR HAR. dan loves you. almost as much as he loves my bedtime farts.

      • your bedtime farts are what make you appealing to me.

        on that note, don’t ever change.

        ps. i love you.

  2. Look at it this way…you get to go couch shopping again! Wee! Such fun haha.

    Ps you didn’t say my awesome comment re: your tight holes!! Hahaa

    I have a sudden urge to pinch your bottom lawl

    • couch shopping is fun when you hate the couch you currently have, and have the money to actually buy something!

      WAHHHHHH.

      omg, right?! jessi: “EASY ACCESS… wait… excess? OMFG HELP”

      for the record it was access. to my butthole.

      win.

    • my bed is my haven! the mattress is SO comfortable, i use 4 pillows (two of them goose feather), and two down comforters. they are filthy and old and totally need duvet covers, but soooo comfortable.

      xx

  3. So… How’s that new place coming along?

    I heard not well.

    Don’t sweat it, it’s that time of year where we can pretend that being a total slack ass if totally fine. “It’s almost spring, I’ll get it together by then.”

    Let it all hang out, smash and pet that cat up some. Enjoy being lazy for a few more days and keep posting. I wish I was in that bed with you relaxing and…

    …wait, that sounds wrong.

    • VERY FUNNY POSKY!

      yeah, i guess i could lay off being a wound-up dillhole, eh? i mean, it’s almost spring, i’ll get it together by then.

      wait, what?

      ps- your comics are like my brain on the regular. i love it.

      • Be a dill-em-up if that’s who you truly are. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, even if that’s someone semi-terrible.

        I’m glad you like the comics. I have a a lot more and some that I haven’t posted just because they seemed to dark for some of the more straight laced readers.

        You’d probably like them though.

  4. there was one, i can’t remember which now, where i was all, “WAIT, DID HE JUST? OH MY GOD”, and then proceeded to laugh and high-five you in my head. so you’re probably right.

    i also read your story about the weirdo originally asking about your motorcycle and it was like, five minutes of gasping, laughing hysterically, and oh-my-god-ing.

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