Tag Archives: movies

comics & coughs

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i had another successful montreal weekend!

on friday night we headed over to alex’s place to drink 40′s and get silly. saturday morning tania and i woke up and headed to the grocery store while everyone slept to pick up tons of food to prepare a breakfast feast for everyone. and it was SO GOOD.

case in point:

i even managed to look stupid and make a dumb hungover/bedhead face! SURPRISE!

that night we all got drunk on sangria and gave each other stick & poke tattoos.

i swear i’m not a demon?

i decided to keep it nerdy and get pew! pew! tattooed to my arm, with a little gun.

also, kevin gave me a stupid tattoo that says DRAGUNZ with two flies next to it. i make good decisions. and this is what kevin’s face looks like when he says “DO YOU LIKE DRAGONS?!”

which is only slightly more horrifying than my dumb breakfast picture.

on sunday i lazed around with tania and petey

and then headed over to comiccon to meet one of my favourite characters.

brent spiner is such a funny dude! the first thing he said to me was “so, how far does that go down?”, referring to my chest tattoo. yes, i totally showed brent spiner the goods. he also said i should just take my top off so he can see the rest of them. and subsequently asked my buddy ben if he “gets to see me naked”. he said i was a “work of art” and that i had him “totally mesmerized”. holy swooning.

what is it with geeky dudes that freaking makes my palms sweat? knowledge is power?! sigh. i texted my buddy mike to tell him everything and his response was “i guess his emotion chip was fully funtional today!”

MORE SWOONING.

anyway, i got some graphic novels and a few autographs. i even got stephen a birthday present, but i can’t say what it is just yet because he reads this site and i want to keep it a surprise! i did, however, get this picture taken of darth vader and i, for him since he couldn’t be there!

he was SO TALL! i think i accidentally grabbed his butt?

and by accidentally i mean completely on purpose.

that night a bunch of us played scene it! and drank litres of coffee. best guess of the game?

“terminator 2: total recall?!”
- bizkoti

i’m exhausted but i had such a fun weekend with everyone. the only downfall? i somehow managed to catch the plague and now i’m SUPER sick.

montreal: 1

elle: 0

my life is thrilling, check it out.

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so here’s the deal, internet!

last summer i had bright orange hair (think: lelu from 5th element). although it was fun and different, it was A LOT of upkeep and let’s be honest, i don’t have the time or patience to be dying my hair every two weeks when there is reality TV to be watched, and sitting around on my butt to be done. what i’m trying to say here, is i’m lazy. the dye burns my eyes, i’ve ruined just about every towel i own, and uh… did i mention i’m lazy?

so anyway, when i moved into me and andy’s house last summer (holy hell guys, it’s already been 6 months since andy and i broke up), i dyed my hair black-brown, and keeping up with it has been a total BITCH. i actually had 4-5 inches of roots grown in and i HATED seeing pictures/my reflexion in the mirror, because uh, i’m vain?

so i was perusing the aisles of my pharmacy whilst waiting for this month’s dose of prescription medication to be filled, and i saw a box of bleach and my heart set itself on fire and i totally HAD TO HAVE IT because i’m so sick of my dumb hair. not to mention i hate wearing black when my hair’s black because i totally feel like i’m stuck in the 9th grade and mindless self indulgence is my favourite band. and like, i’ve moved past that stage. sort of.

ANYWAY.

i decided to go light again before my brother’s wedding (where i plan to go back to my natural hair colour, most likely). also, this is why i’m not allowed in a pharmacy alone. i need an adult.

yes, i’m totally taking myspace pictures in the bathroom at work. HIRE ME! i’m an awesome employee.

this is a far more tame version of the lelu hair i had last year. this is a more conservative lelu, if you will. what lelu would look like if she were to get a job, wear some real clothing, and you know… live in the now.

and what the fuck? i actually kind of like it.

anyway, in other news, my friend stephen and i have been having a star trek vs. star wars battle. we decided to have a marathon and then discuss. so because of my illness i’ve been glued to the couch for like, 4 days, and we started our marathon on saturday.

TWELVE AND A HALF HOURS OF STAR TREK, NO BREAKS, YO!

we made it through the motion picture, the wrath of khan, the search for spock, the voyage home, the final frontier, and undiscovered country without a break! (other than a meat break, ovbs. and no that isn’t a code word for DOING IT, we totally took a break to consume bbq’ed meat). by hour 8 or 9 i felt my mind beginning to melt and i almost called it quits once or twice, but the 6th movie is the perfect place to pause off. we’re likely picking up again this weekend with movie number 7: generations! ohhhh picard, i’ve waited so long.

but for reals… have you had a star trek marathon?! maybe it’s the constant hours of banter between bones, kirk, and spock… but HOLY SHIT, it’s filled with comical GOLD. the voyage home was by far the funniest and that’s where i got hooked again.

i’m beginning to think stephen’s slowly getting sucked in. WHAT UP!

so that’s that. i had a mind-numbing sci-fi weekend and it was glorious.

as for tonight? i finally get internet & cable.

get into it.

a real life conversation using quotes from different movies. only.

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khala: must. leave. work

e: it’s 2pm! i’m here til 5:30. i’m totally bailing out at 5pm though. FTW! OI, OI, OI!

khala: haha, i’m leaving at 3pm

e: i h8 u

e: come get me. set my work on fire.

khala: just run. run like the wind.

e: can’t. my feet still hurt. i’m basically forrest gump.

khala: run, forrest!

e: life is like a box of chocolates.

e: it makes me bloaty and fat, and wanna sit on the can for an hour.

e: fuck you, world

khala: hahahaha

khala: stay classy, planet earth

e: go fuck yourself, san diego.

khala: hahahahah

e: i love movies

prescription medication can die in a fire (alternatively titled: the one with too much information)

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remember that time i left work early to go to the clinic, and the doctor totally told me to stop having sex 10 times a day because i’m tiny and can’t handle it, and then i accidentally made my pharmacist think i’m an alcoholic sex fiend, and then definitely walked to B.’s house and high-fived him for breaking my vagina, because he totally broke my vagina?

oh, that was yesterday.

fuck my life.

on the plus side, we watched kung fu movies and ate fuzzy peaches in bed.
such an a+ dude!

earlier in the evening i ordered 100lbs of chocolate frozen yogurt with oreos and went to see the crazies with bizKoti and khala, and let me just say OHMYFUCK it’s so good! i haven’t seen the original, and i mean, it’s a little cheesy and made me think of the plot of cabin fever (also a good one!), but it’s awesome none the less. we all held hands and screamed.

the night before, i went to see shutter island which was ALSO super good! i thought it was a little slow here and there, but the ending made everything worth it, PLUS boston leonardo dicaprio makes me want to do bad things. nom nom nom!

anyway, tonight is movie night in my bed with khala and bizKoti and we’re going to do a bunch of laundry and eat until we crap ourselves.

tomorrow i have a half day and we’re heading to montreal to see some ottawa bands and get shitty with our besties. saturday khala has to buy fabric for work, and then we’re heading home. i have plans to party with bizKoti that night, and see B.

so other than the state of my cooch, everything is totally awesome!

—-

edit:

i just emailed my boss and the word “ejaculation” was involved. why am i so good at professionalism? how do i have a job?

help.

if sex makes you uncomfortable, you might want to leave. also? avatar!

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*scene* andy is driving us to the movie theatre to see avatar

me: what are we doing friday night?

andy: i’m not sure… i’m working late. what do you feel like doing when i’m home?

me: well we haven’t slept together in over a week because things have been so busy.

andy: ooooooooh. a sex date!

me: sure.

andy: well, can we watch home alone 2?

me: can you sit on my face? 

*end scene*

there are a few things to mention about this conversation:

1. i have needs, and they will be met.
2. my boyfriend loves macaulay culkin more than me.
3. the first time i asked him to sit on my face, he looked at me shocked, and then totally high fived me. it’s like dating my best friend, only he’s this super hot, funny dude i get to sleep with and high five after sex. plus he’s warm at night and he’s really good at holding hands.

anyway, so we saw avatar. and i’m not going to spoil anything except i have to say that i LOVED the movie, and also this:

… because i’m creepy

real stats, good advice, and a movie review!

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brother: we may move shortly after. or we might have a baby?

me: SQUEE! please have a baby asap- my uterus begs you. knock her up the night of your wedding. what better way to say I love you than “sup girl, you are totally birthing my spawn in like, 9 months” then you can high five her. 65% of the time, it works every time.

brother: Hahaha. For me it works 100% of the time, never!

—

also, i should make surprise greeting cards for the knocked up.

“high five!” (open card) “you’re pregnant.”
“your jeans don’t make you look fat” (open card) “except you’re pregnant”
“remember that time i didn’t get my tubes tied?” (open card) “…uh… i love you?”
“what to expect when you’re expecting” (open card) “hopefully not a divorce?”

sigh.

ANYWAY. the boyfriend and i are finally seeing avatar tonight… at 10:30… on a work night. here’s a big high-five going out to andy’s bullshit 12 hour days! either way, i’m still looking forward to (finally) seeing it.

also, the corner store by my parents’ house rents out movies for $2. so last night, meaghan and i rented i know who killed me with lindsay lohan (attn: spoiler alerts up ahead). i’d like to mention that i’m a big fan of really shitty movies, but seriously li-lo? what the FUCK. i’m pretty sure we had the whole twin stigmata thing figured out like, twenty minutes into the movie. and i’m also pretty sure i said “if scorpion tattoo doesn’t kill her, then piano freak is totally the murderer”. you could have saved me like, 800 gratuitous whore-mouth scenes of you stripping and a whole $2. also your stumps? creepy. i’d like to say that i LOVE the part where your dad, daniel, totally tells you to “SHUT THE FUCK UP, aubrey”. YES DANIEL! i’ve been trying say that for the last 1.5 hours. i burst out laughing. also? the whole twin thing? preeeetty sure you did that before you got tits and lost your virginity. this movie was basically the parent trap, only reversed. with less shots of li-lo grinding a stripper pole and losing her fingers. and fucking a dude who basically never got a boner before.

also:

pops: “is that lindsay lohan?”
me: “yup…”
pops: “do you see her cooch?”
me: “basically”
pops: “slut.”

thanks for summing that up, dad.