Tag Archives: oh… this house

casa del vaginal anarchy

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here’s the thing about living with girls when you’re an adult:

HOLY SHIT, IT’S AMAZING!

coming from someone who has never really enjoyed living with other human beings, this comes as a total shock. but i mean it- maybe it’s because i’ve known katie for ten years, and the shit we found funny when we were kids are still just as hilarious today. maybe it’s the fact that neither of us have actually matured since we got our first period, or that dick jokes and fart noises still have us roaring in stitches on the floor…

maybe it’s because ten years ago, i looked like this:

and katie looked like this:

so absolutely every other joke we make is about anarchy, and feminism, and making fun of how stupid we looked, and how awesome our childhoods were. i’m so lucky to be where i am- that after a gut-wrenching breakup with the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, i get to share a home with someone i grew up with. someone who knows me, and gets me, and who paints my nails when i watch criminal minds and cooks me fish for dinner after bootcamp.

WE ARE LIVING THE ASEXUAL DREAM, Y’ALL.

i was really, really worried about how i would adjust to roommate life after not having roommates in over a year. how i would adjust to other people’s CRAP in MY HOUSE. but the fact is this: everything is perfect. her stuff “goes” with my stuff… we love the same things, we appreciate art and vintage and punk rock bands we’re still in love with. she’s an excellent cook, and she has a heart the size of the planet. and what was once me and dan’s house, turned MY HOUSE, has now transitioned so seamlessly into our house.

also dubbed casa del vaginal anarchy.

BECAUSE OI OI, FEMINISM, FUCK YOU.

etc.

it’s the summer, internet. i have two days of work left before i run out of here with my shirt above my head, boobs out, screaming SPRING BREAK. the first real break i’ve give myself since i graduated high school and spent days broke, hungry, and crying in me and m’s apartment, waiting for him to come home.

fucking crazy, right?

half the women in my life are either married, pregnant, engaged, or happily co-habitating with their lovers. and considering just a few months ago i had already picked out me and dan’s wedding song, and peed on a stick because i totally thought we’d accidentally gotten pregnant and the first thing that popped into my head was “well, at least we love each other”- considering how fucking insane that sounds and how long ago that seems and how sad and lonely that makes me feel… all those things considered- i’m okay.

there’s something to be said for the strength and support the women in my life have given me. i am constantly laughing, having fun, drinking wine, being productive and carefree and so overwhelmed by how big my heart feels.

this must be one of the best places i’ve been (emotionally) in my life. maybe it’s the season, or the fact that i will soon have time to go to the beach, read in the park, nap IN THE AFTERNOON ON A WEEKDAY (holy shit, what does that even feel like?!), spend time with my night owl friends who work evenings, who fucking knows… i feel so LIMITLESS!

i have a movie date tonight, bootcamp this week, my friend’s champagne 30 birthday party on thursday, a BBQ & potential baseball game on friday, and one of my favourite bands is playing a local venue next tuesday- so many fun summer activities almost every single day of the week. how do i even have time to feel sad?

in other news… katie’s dog finnegan ate up my $300 hugo boss frames, so i bought two new pairs:

SUMMER LOVIN’ !!!

this is progress

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sometimes i forget that i have feelings.

i was having such an easy time with moving forward, that when dan let some cocky remark slip from between his lips, i totally lost it. i ignored his incessant phone calls, and his constant text messages because i was angry for the first time in weeks. i deliberately did those things because i knew it was hurting him.

how awful?

who have i become, and what the fuck is my problem? granted, he deserved it, and i was right to give myself some much deserved space, but by the third day it was eating at my heart so badly, that i had to call him back.

break ups are hard.

and it’s not because i want to get back together with him (i really, truly don’t)- it’s just that i am having a hard time with this “best friends” business. because he is- really he is. i love him and i care about his happiness and success. but it’s hard when we can’t lay in my bed and talk about the people we’ve been fucking, or the crushes we’ve been having. isn’t that what best friends do? they lay in bed for hours, drinking wine out of the bottle- gushing about the silly things we let our hearts talk us into doing after recent heart ache.

i want to tell him about the silly night at the strip club, where a dancer named candy told me she loved me. i want to tell him about the tequila shots i took with my friends, and how i went home that night with a friend i’ve been close to for years- a friend who kept my up all night (and again in the morning). i want to tell him about the friend i’ve been crushing on since i was nineteen- the friend who kisses me with both hands on my face, who tells me i’m pretty. i want to tell him about the trips i’ve been taking out of town- trips where i’ve stayed up all night dancing in kitchens to justin timberlake with beautiful women, only to stumble home with one of the most handsome, soft-spoken men i’d ever met. i want to gush about how happy i’ve been since i had my heart broken- but it’s hard to do that when he was the one to break it.

i want to get excited when he asks to cook me dinner after work, and stay up all night watching our favourite tv shows together- but it’s hard to look forward to it when the last time we did that, we spent the majority of the time kissing between sentences, and tearing each others’ clothes off.

you see, i’m not sad that we can’t have that anymore- in fact a bigger part of me is relieved. i see everything so much more clearly now and i know we’re meant to be apart. i can feel it. it hurts to say it, but i really am happier without him as a partner. i just hate waiting for the comfort of telling my best friend everything. it’ll come in time, i’m sure. i just know my secrets will hurt him the way his would still hurt me.

in any case- i’m sure it seems like i’ve been acting like an idiot- and although i’ve been drinking more, and sleeping less, i promise i’m not up to the same old antics i was up to a year ago. i’ve been spending so much time with girlfriends- laying in the sun, and cooking up healthy food on the bbq. i’ve been taking small trips out of the city, and working out a few times a week. i’ve been listening to music constantly- dancing and singing; just enjoying being alive. i just can’t get enough of this weather, and how much i love my friends.

oh, and i almost forgot! i have a roommate!

one of my best friends moved into me & dan’s old bedroom. katie and i grew up drinking 40s of liquor in alleyways, going to punk shows, and staying up all night when we were barely thirteen! she’s one of my closest girlfriends- someone i have just about everything in common with including our taste in music (that NEVER happens?!). we’ve spent the last week together re-decorating, making up totally silly 90′s playlists and cleaning everything! she helped me finish my new bedroom, and she stocks my bar fridge with beer while i’m at work, and buys us shower gel to share (amazing?!)… we painted our toes the same colour and we sit around in our undies watching criminal minds pretty regularly. it’s been nothing short of spectacular, and she’s definitely made the transition extra easy. i’m so grateful for her.

she also helped me finish up my new bedroom- definitely my favourite bedroom of all!

here she is rebuilding my ikea shelf… with her face

and here is a sneak peak at the changes i made to the mancave- now my bedroom!

and here are the boys: moose the cat & finnegan… stoked on becoming brothers!

also, we were doing some organizing/decorating in the kitchen when we over-stocked the shelf and it fell directly onto my neck and shattered just about everything on it! MEGA FAIL! luckily TH swung by this weekend to fix it up for us… where would we be without my papa!?

and yesterday i spent the morning prancing around in this cute little apron, listening to the undertones really loud and drinking wine spritzers for breakfast while doing some vegetable prep for the father’s day BBQ at my brother’s house!

and of course, the most note-worthy of all: only eight more days of wearing suit jackets and heels… because then it’s time for FUNEMPLOYMENT 2011!

woo!

lately

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i should probably just rename this blog “progress reports of a girl who takes one step forward, and ten steps back”, or better yet “little elle: why bother”

HA! i’m funny.

this is what the mancave looked like a few weeks ago…

this is what it looked like after dan lived in here for a few weeks when we decided to break up

it’s mostly empty, now. i have to put my table in storage, and lug the couch out to the sidewalk, and vacuum up the millions of dust bunnies the hundreds of records were hiding, but yeah… it’s fucking empty otherwise.

i took monday & tuesday off to clear my head and cry a whole bunch, because i really haven’t cried much since dan and i broke up. i bought some paint and tomorrow i’ll switch up the blood-red walls for a dark brown colour, and move the rest of my belongings in there. i don’t want to sleep in “our” room, anymore. it was really hot last night, so i got naked, and slept in the living room with the lights and tv on. there aren’t any sheets in on my bed and both rooms are a mess so i just wanted to be away from all of that.

my buddy is coming by tonight to take a look at the place and see if he wants to live with me. i think it’d be a pretty great fit and it would totally be a fresh start. not to mention i’m terrified of living with girls again, so i hope he loves the place and movies his shit in immediately. living alone again is nice, but not when your best friend has just left you and your heart is heavier than a ton of bricks.

in any case… i’m kind of excited to start fresh in some ways. my closest friends all living a few blocks from me and it’s been so nice to enjoy this weather. i originally took the time off to help dan pack but it got too emotional, and he was too drunk, so i fucking left.

i’m not going to lie. i spent weeks being a complete asshole to him. i refused his hugs, and made fun of his new shirts, and called him a drunk when he cracked another beer. i played angry feminist punk super loud in hopes he could hear the lyrics and hurt, if only for a second. i figured watching him leave would be so much easier if i were angry. he took most of it good-heartedly, as i’d expected, because i still think he’s the nicest person in this entire world.

we were waiting for his buddy to show up to help with the move, and in the meantime we were sitting in the living room together, making small talk. he showed me a skit from kids in the hall, and i got up.. walked to our room, sat on our bed, and bawled my fucking eyes out. i don’t know anyone who loves kids in the hall as much as dan does, and having that be our last moment together just made it seem so much more awful. i already miss his goofy laugh, and the way he says my name. when dan realized i was crying in the bedroom, he came in to comfort me. he rubbed my shoulders and apologized, and that was that. “don’t think i’m not bummed, because i am so fucking bummed”, he said.

when he came back upstairs to grab the pippen jersey i bought him for christmas and his pbr mug, he was drenched in sweat- dripping from his face, and arms. his white german shirt was almost completely see-through and he smelled like a keg. and despite refusing to hug him for weeks, when he said goodbye for the last time and put his keys on the coffee table, i ran into his arms, and pulled his wet body against my little summer dress and cried harder than i ever have in my entire life. i squeezed him so tight i could feel his heart beat against mine and every time i thought i was ready to let go, i caught myself pulling him in closer, and closer. i wanted to tell him that i loved him and i was sorry, and i hoped i could look at him again without wanting to die, but i figured it may be a little too dramatic for a goodbye hug that was already so gut-wrenching.

i went to bootcamp that night, and almost threw up on my yoga mat. when i’m sad, i get super icky and throw-upy and it’s terrible. he called me right as i was on my way home and we chatted for about ten minutes. he told me he figured out how to set up his air conditioning unit, and that he’d go out and buy nail clippers to cut his toe nails because they were so gross… and i always forced him to cut them when he lived with me. he’s settling in, i guess. he’s moving again in a month so he’ll be sleeping on a floor for a bit. i don’t like that. i hate it, even. anyway… i guess it’s not my place to tell his story anymore. that chapter of my life is closed, and it’s time to move on.

and through all of this? thank goodness for this… all of it:

late night wine & strawberries on my porch

summer dresses!

silly friends


hanging out in the park & blowing bubbles


friends who visit from out of town

midnight street frisbee, in the heart of the city

little elle’s apartment tour – the bedroom

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before:

brb, i just barfed everywhere.

my landlord (a good friend) and his girlfriend lived here right before we did. it’s a two bedroom apartment and they used this smaller bedroom as his girlfriend’s walk-in closet. which, SWOON, but having only two bedrooms it seems absolutely ridiculous to use an entire room for CLOTHING. the apartment is SMALL, and we had to get REAL clever with storage and space-saving. also what is it with humans who don’t give a care about the wall colour?! this is a total purple-poop-nightmare.

in any case dan and i immediately agreed to use the smaller room as our bedroom- we really only use it to sleep, store some clothes, watch big love, and do it. we’re really only in there if we’re naked or sleeping, so why use the bigger bedroom for that? it just seemed silly.

after:

i’m pretty big on neutrals/greens, can you tell?

i painted out the walls olive green, and touched up the baseboards with white.

i know most people would 100% disagree, but there’s nothing i love more than an unmade bed. our bed that’s been slept in- its wrinkled sheets, big duvets, and pillows that smell of laundry and my boyfriend’s neck… it’s the most comforting thing in the world.

we decided against curtains in the bedroom because the we’re higher up than our neighbours so they don’t see my boobs while i sleep, and the windows let in such amazing sunlight. it’s awesome waking up to natural light like that.

that closet is piled high with dan’s nice shirts, all of our jackets and coats, and a few boxes of keepsakes. the black sheer panel was bought at ikea; two for $10.

my brother and i have each had that dresser in our bedroom at some point- red, when he was a baby, and black when i was a teenager. when we moved, i painted it white and kept the knobs black. i’m completely in love with the final effect! dan uses this for all his clothes (i have a wardrobe for all of my clothes in the mancave)

again, more $2 frames and favourite artists’ pictures.

my lovely sister-in-law painted me that fabulous owl canvas for christmas last year.

my landlord left us that white expedit shelf! it has been a total lifesaver- one ikea bin holding all of my undernothings, a second holding all my bathing suits/tights/spanx/socks, and a third holding all my sewing stuff. the rest of the shelves are filled with books, vhs films, decorations, an ipod dock/alarm clock, dan’s old blue doc martens, etc…

that nautical lamp is vintage, bought online from kijiji for about $20. the blue scarf on top was thrifted.

again with the “keep calm and carry on” print- a personal favourite.

the small tv stand was passed down from my parents, originally natural wood, then black, and now white.

this is one of my favourite rooms in the house- a nice mix of vintage, thrifted, and modern. it always smells like vanilla, and makes me feel so warm and safe.

little elle’s apartment tour – the hallway

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before:

dirty, awful, empty, BABY BLUE?! hallway

this is obviously nothing special, but i still thought it needed quite the overhaul.

after:

we painted out the awful baby blue to a soft sage green (the same green as my living room at the old place).

the bench was passed down from my aunt, originally blue, painted black (we use it for all our scarves, mittens, hats, etc)

the black shoe rack was purchased a few years ago (from ikea, maybe?)

the black frames were purchased at the dollar store for under $2 a piece, in which we placed magazine pictures of some favourite artists- definitely a cheap & fun, ongoing project. we have these frames all over the apartment!

the black-rimmed oval mirror was purchased at wal-mart a few years ago for a few bucks!

our poor million year old victorian is TOTALLY SLANTED!

holy crap.

i got this thing, it rhymes with slouch.

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i’m a negative nancy.

i don’t really mean to be, i don’t think. i just kind of have a super dick outlook on, um, everything. i always assume the worst and i have the world’s shittiest luck in the history of anything ever.

see?

such a dick.

anyway.

on saturday my pops and i agreed to drive around different furniture stores that carried a couch that would fit through my apartment door. it’s not that the door is narrow, or anything, but it’s the attic of an old victorian, so there’s a slanted ceiling right where you walk into the door. which essentially means i’m not allowed owning any real furniture ever.

and not to be a prick, but i am a goddamned adult. i’ve grown out the futon thing (the only couch able to fit through the door, dammit). i’ve owned a $1,300 leather setional before, i am kind of above that. and i mean, the “couch” we have for the mancave is making me borderline suicidal. i like to sprawl when i watch my stories. i like to lay in my undernothings, with my legs on the top of the couch, and my body halfway to the floor. it makes absolutely zero sense, but that’s neither here nor there.

this story is getting more and more pointless.

so i’m in the car with my pops, and i says to him i says, “dad, we’re not going to find anything. the only thing i can get is a modular sofa (check it out, i’m super smart). you know, one where each inidividual seat comes apart.” and he was all, “you’re totally right, ellie belly banana rama, but the odds of us not only finding a modular sectional, but one that you can afford, that isn’t an ugly piece of shit are slim to none”, and i was all “fuckkkkkkkkkkkk”

i’m only paraphrasing slightly.

and not on the super elongated fuck, either.

so we were gonna go to the brick because i have a brick credit card, but those dudes are also dummies who give me false hope, so we first went into united furniture warehouse, instead.

i walk through the door, and the first thing i see is a sectional sofa.

that happens to be faux brown leather

just like my old one.

and oh my god, it’s frigging modular!

AND, AND, AND!

the sales lady gave me over 20% off everything.

these are the pieces that fit together to make the sectional.

you do the math

NOT BAD, HUH?

i saved over $200 or something ridiculous which means i can totally eat this week.

it’s not any of the couches i had my eye on, but it’s okay because at least i know these will fit NO MATTER WHAT.

and if they don’t i’m going to just go ahead and jump off my very own roof.

I MEAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS!? the first couch i see?! in the first store i step foot into?! and the super adorable columbian lady who didn’t speak a lick of english offered me a huge deal right off the bat!?

i’m excited.

i GUESS.

oh! and delivery is may 7th.

in three weeks.

because the universe is a sadist.

what is my brain, even?

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WHY YES, that IS a real life window in my goddamn kitchen!

along with disgusting cupboards that will be updated, oh, NEVER.

but fuck, i have a window.

i’ll take what i can get, you know?

also, super un-funny yet true story:

what did this bra-less, makeup-less jerk do to herself at bootcamp!?

broke her butt.

how the hell does one pull her left ass-cheek? my guess is the millions of mini football runs and clock lunges that my sadist of a trainer forced me to do.

bless her heart, though.

she is totally going to make me skinny.

i feel like the only thing i’m going to eat this weekend is beer & fruit.

that’s a legit diet right?

r.i.p gut.

progress report number, who the fuck cares!

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you guys, i am THIS close to having a real living room.

last night, i finally chucked all the garbage and empty boxes we had piling up in there. we were mostly using this space as a catch-all, and it was starting to drive me completely bananas. there is still one kitchen box to unpack and a few things on the window’s ledge to sort through, but for the most part, we’re DONE.

check it out!

you may remember the purchases i made last week, on a whim. i got the rug in the mail last night and it’s AWESOME. it has some shiny pieces of gold and silver fabric in it that totally give it the pop i wasn’t expecting, but am totally happy with! the curtains should come today, and the rest of the stuff i got should be here by the end of the week, or so.

we still have a few things to put up on the walls to complete the room, but for the most part i am totally happy with it! i’ll be getting my couch NEXT WEEK! the one i had my eye on is apparently no longer available, so in its place, i’ll be getting this gorgeous little thang:

… so long as it fits through my front door!

… oh what’s that? you want MORE GOOD NEWS?

okay!

our KITCHEN WINDOW should also be installed sometime next week. i can’t even articulate how happy this makes me! we’ll finally have natural light in the kitchen, the ability to open the window for a cool spring breeze, and access to the fire escape landing so we can grow our own herbs!

that my friends, is how you spell success.

i tried to get some real camera pictures onto dan’s computer (because mine is still dead, hanging out at my friend’s house until i can afford a new harddrive), but dan’s laptop is legitimately from the stone-age so i couldn’t figure it out! i’ll ask him this week, but if not… you’ll have to be patient in waiting for the before/after shots.

let’s recap:

new couch? next week
kitchen window? next week
online purchases? this week

it’s about time, dammit!

who lets me have a credit card, round 2

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I AM OUT OF CONTROL.

we just have a lot of shelves and nothing to display on them, OKAY?!

first of all… little russian dolls, only instead of russian dolls, they are FREAKING ROBOTS! which is so adorable i can barely even handle it. hi, i’m a twelve year old boy, apparently.

side note: i am also obsessed with owls, so my brother & SIL brought back little russian dolls à la owl, HAND-CARVED in wood. they have little mini baby owls inside of them. SO CUTE.

secondly, i got 10″ wire letters… D for dan, and MYSTERY LETTER for me, because unless you don’t listen to anything i say, elle is my pseudonym so my crazy junkie ex-boyfriend doesn’t find me. it is, though, linked to my real name directly. ouuuu, FIRST HINT!

HOW MYSTERIOUS.

it’s super cheesy and lame, and i’ve always hated when peolpe had FAMILY, or LOVE, or HOPE, or any of that bullshit on their fireplace mantles, because i am an asshole like that… but in all honesty it’s actually quite cute, and i take it back immediately.

crap, i’m a frigging softie.

D + MYSTERY LETTER sitting in a tree.

or in this case, on a shelf in my living room.

and last but not least, a little bright red runner/rug to tie in the colours in the kitchen. because how frigging adorable is that?

dan actually just texted me this:
“are you a shopaholic?!”

legit.

i think i’ve been watching too much big love. nicky’s spending habits got the family $60,000 in debt in season 2.

oh wow, look who needs a life.

i’m not allowed near my credit card for like, a month, okay?

the weekend

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this weekend was REALLY productive.

on friday, straight after work, my parents came over and we got A LOT done in the apartment. we painted the hallway (from baby blue, to sage green), and the entire kitchen (from a lemon-y yellow, to a nice mocha colour- the same colour as the living room)

my parents left around 11ish, and i showered quickly, met up with anna, and went out dancing all night. which means i did a lot of this all day

note: dan and i didn’t put curtains up in the bedroom and i LOVE how much sunlight it lets in. it’s really relaxing and comforting to wake up to such brightness

i had to force myself out of bed though, because THIS was being delivered:

my precious

then anna came over so we could cuddle and watch movies all morning. she was also sweet enough to pick up a whole bunch of fruit, yogurt, and juice… so we had a nice, light, healthy breakfast in our jammies. which means we got to cuddle this little guy all day:

anna left to have coffee with a girlfriend, so i got to nap for a few hours. when i FINALLY got around to showering/putting on something that wasn’t my yoga pants, i headed over to anna’s to hang with her, senan, adam, and stefan. we shot-gunned a few shower beers, watched some silly videos on the internet, and then made the twenty minute walk to the scuzziest bar in the city, where stefan made all of us laugh all night

around 2am, i left the bar with anna, jon, and adam and we headed to my place to hangout, watch lord of the rings, and drink until well past 5am.

note: why the hell do i do this to myself?! i am a fucking sadist.

dan and i slept in really late, and i finally stumbled out of bed to make us fried egg sandwiches. he headed off to adam’s to watch the hockey game, and i headed over to my parents’ place for family dinner… where my sister-in-law and i spent hours looking at avon catalogues to spend money we don’t have on shit we don’t need.

“does this colour suit me?!” – jo

i got home pretty late, just when dan was getting home from band practice. we did a whole bunch of laundry, cuddled, and watched big love until 2am.

i have to admit, i’ve been really short and stressed these days, but things are finally starting to fall into place and my finances are sorting themselves out. i’m really happy that dan is so patient with me because 80% of the time, i’m a total headcase.

blah, blah, blah, my boyfriend is the most amazing human in the world, etc.

barf.

i hope you babies had a lovely weekend!

xx