progress report number, who the fuck cares!

you guys, i am THIS close to having a real living room.

last night, i finally chucked all the garbage and empty boxes we had piling up in there. we were mostly using this space as a catch-all, and it was starting to drive me completely bananas. there is still one kitchen box to unpack and a few things on the window’s ledge to sort through, but for the most part, we’re DONE.

check it out!

you may remember the purchases i made last week, on a whim. i got the rug in the mail last night and it’s AWESOME. it has some shiny pieces of gold and silver fabric in it that totally give it the pop i wasn’t expecting, but am totally happy with! the curtains should come today, and the rest of the stuff i got should be here by the end of the week, or so.

we still have a few things to put up on the walls to complete the room, but for the most part i am totally happy with it! i’ll be getting my couch NEXT WEEK! the one i had my eye on is apparently no longer available, so in its place, i’ll be getting this gorgeous little thang:

… so long as it fits through my front door!

… oh what’s that? you want MORE GOOD NEWS?


our KITCHEN WINDOW should also be installed sometime next week. i can’t even articulate how happy this makes me! we’ll finally have natural light in the kitchen, the ability to open the window for a cool spring breeze, and access to the fire escape landing so we can grow our own herbs!

that my friends, is how you spell success.

i tried to get some real camera pictures onto dan’s computer (because mine is still dead, hanging out at my friend’s house until i can afford a new harddrive), but dan’s laptop is legitimately from the stone-age so i couldn’t figure it out! i’ll ask him this week, but if not… you’ll have to be patient in waiting for the before/after shots.

let’s recap:

new couch? next week
kitchen window? next week
online purchases? this week

it’s about time, dammit!

the weekend

this weekend was REALLY productive.

on friday, straight after work, my parents came over and we got A LOT done in the apartment. we painted the hallway (from baby blue, to sage green), and the entire kitchen (from a lemon-y yellow, to a nice mocha colour- the same colour as the living room)

my parents left around 11ish, and i showered quickly, met up with anna, and went out dancing all night. which means i did a lot of this all day

note: dan and i didn’t put curtains up in the bedroom and i LOVE how much sunlight it lets in. it’s really relaxing and comforting to wake up to such brightness

i had to force myself out of bed though, because THIS was being delivered:

my precious

then anna came over so we could cuddle and watch movies all morning. she was also sweet enough to pick up a whole bunch of fruit, yogurt, and juice… so we had a nice, light, healthy breakfast in our jammies. which means we got to cuddle this little guy all day:

anna left to have coffee with a girlfriend, so i got to nap for a few hours. when i FINALLY got around to showering/putting on something that wasn’t my yoga pants, i headed over to anna’s to hang with her, senan, adam, and stefan. we shot-gunned a few shower beers, watched some silly videos on the internet, and then made the twenty minute walk to the scuzziest bar in the city, where stefan made all of us laugh all night

around 2am, i left the bar with anna, jon, and adam and we headed to my place to hangout, watch lord of the rings, and drink until well past 5am.

note: why the hell do i do this to myself?! i am a fucking sadist.

dan and i slept in really late, and i finally stumbled out of bed to make us fried egg sandwiches. he headed off to adam’s to watch the hockey game, and i headed over to my parents’ place for family dinner… where my sister-in-law and i spent hours looking at avon catalogues to spend money we don’t have on shit we don’t need.

“does this colour suit me?!” – jo

i got home pretty late, just when dan was getting home from band practice. we did a whole bunch of laundry, cuddled, and watched big love until 2am.

i have to admit, i’ve been really short and stressed these days, but things are finally starting to fall into place and my finances are sorting themselves out. i’m really happy that dan is so patient with me because 80% of the time, i’m a total headcase.

blah, blah, blah, my boyfriend is the most amazing human in the world, etc.


i hope you babies had a lovely weekend!


a REAL progress report (not just me swearing at everything, sort of)

remember that time i said i was getting a kitchen window put in?

i lied.

i live in a really old house, so when things like windows break, they have to be measured and custom ordered to replace them. custom orders take a few weeks, and then to actually get irresponsibile fuck-head contracters in takes, um, forever. there was a little rain a few weeks back, so they were a whole five hours late. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’RE AN IDIOT. dan had to head off to work, and i don’t really like strangers in my house when i’m not home, so i turned them away. fine- my fault, but still. when we finally got another appointment (a week later), they were an hour late, and then told us the window was too large.

shouldn’t you know basic math if your job requires you to MEASURE things and then FIT THEM INSIDE of other things? i don’t know, it just seems appropriate.

and so now, we wait. another few weeks for the window to be ordered, and then however long it takes the guys to get to our house to actually replace it.

i have zero sunlight in my kitchen, a cardboard box for a window, and no freaking idea what the hell my backyard looks like. it’s really bumming me out.

in other news, though…


that’s right- it’ll be out of the apartment on sunday, and i’ll have a new couch by april sometime.

tonight, the rest of the apartment is being painted and unpacked, and then all that will be left is the window and couch. that’s PRETTY exciting. it also means we can hang the rest of our paintings and posters on the walls in the living room and hallway, and clear out the leftover boxes that were cluttering up the living room- which has essentially just been a dumping ground, lately.

not to mention, on saturday morning, our new stove will be delivered! i’m most excited about this, because we asked for a smaller one, so we could fit our washer & dryer next to it. then we won’t have to worry about the dryer being an eye-sore in the living room or trying to force it into our hallway closet.

things will really be starting to come together after this weekend, and i couldn’t be more excited to just sit back and ENJOY this godforsaken apartment. (ps: i love you, apartment! i’m just cranky!)

this weekend i’m also signing up for eight weeks of bootcamp! you know what that means? i can wear bathing suits and dresses all summer without slitting my very own wrists. i’m not fat, internet. but i have my mother’s genes, i’m shaped like a pear, and i drink A LOT of beer. i could lose fifteen pounds, tone up a little bit, and be really excited about not feeling like the human blob.

i’m trying not to be unrealistic. i never wanted to be skinny- i love being curvy, and feeling like a woman… i just want my confidence back.

what are my goals? i want to have more energy, and be more willing to leave my house and enjoy the spring when i get home. i want to cook healthier foods again, and not worry what every single human is thinking when i take my pants off at the beach. mostly? i have this really adorable pair of blue high-waisted jeans. i can’t button them, and my thighs are a little too thick for them, so my main goal is to fit into those comfortably. to be honest, i never wear jeans or any pants comfortably unless they’re high waisted- mostly because of my shape and the fact that jeans have just never been my friend.

so there are my insecurities and bleeeergh, i hate talking about that kind of shit, but whatever. i figure if i put it out there, i could really force myself to make the effort and then i can share my results with all of you.

aka nudes.

not really, but yeah, alright, maybe.

wish me luck!


progress report the, uh, third?

a lot got done in the mancave last night!

essentially all that’s left to do is get a couch and a wardrobe for all my clothes… other than that? DONE. i promise i’ll have real pictures when i do before and after shots, but in the meantime this is a super late, super dim picture of what was done lat night:

i set up my sewing area… hung up some pictures of me with my favourite montrealers, and set up my machine on a little black table… i used to have a pretty wonderful sewing table, but i sold it when i moved. all of my sewing stuff and fabric is in a box in one of the cubbies in my expedit bookshelf in the bedroom. HIDDEN! just the way i like it.

secondly, we mounted dan’s milkcrates onto the wall to use as bookshelves, or in this case tape shelves. secondly, we mounted the DVD shelves to store all our movies, tv series, and dan’s video games. i also hung the pippen jersey i got dan for christmas last year. also, that yellow car? LOVE. it used to belong to some old friends and i’ve brought it to just about every single apartment i’ve lived in. i just can’t part with it. and on the wall next to the curtains is a picture of dan and i in our halloween costumes last year, and a few (less naked pictures) of the shots julie took of me for valentine’s day.

it’s not much, but to be fair, the mancave looked like this not a week ago:

now, the kitchen is yet to be painted, but i still managed to make a cute little curtain for the pantry. the colours of the kitchen will be mocha, red, and black mostly… so the fabric i chose is a nice cream colour with hints of black and red. it’s totally shanty and crooked, but whatever! i did it super quick and you can’t even tell that i didn’t measure or pin it.

and our kitchen window is being installed TOMORROW! holy shit ya’ll, WINDOW PANES. frig, yes.

and also, i piled all of the garbage bags and empty boxes in the hallway next to the door so tall you can’t even walk by. do you think dan will take a hint and take it out today on his day off?! i’m a passive-aggressive jerk-off like that, okay? it’s how i get things done!

dan is super lucky to be in love with an asshole.


want, need, must have

… i’ve got my eye on you, motherfucker.

now all of you, pray to the internet lords that someone in this here city will buy my (new) old couch so i can afford this one. i really miss sitting in my undernothings watching criminal minds somewhere that ISN’T my boudoir. and for serious, if dan catches me eating dinner in bed one more time, i think he actually might disown me.

wherein i am a douchebag

“so, how’s the new place coming along?”

*eye twitch*

ask me one more mother flipping time how the new apartment is coming along, even though you totally know i don’t have any mother flipping furniture to sit on, and no, watching HBO on demand for hours on end in a lawn chair doesn’t count as mother flipping furniture.

i get it- it’s the polite thing to ask when people move. but people, neither of my living rooms have couches, half of our belongings are still in boxes, i can’t hang up or put any of my clothes away until i get paid on the 12th and spend all my money on a large armoire, our kitchen window won’t be installed until the end of the week, i won’t have new kitchen cabinets until the end of the month, i haven’t even painted the hallway or kitchen yet, and i am up to my eyelids in laundry.


the only rooms that make sense right now are the bedroom and bathroom- and thank goodness for that because i would be about ready to pack up and leave if i had to sleep on the floor or shit in a bucket at this point. and even still, dan was showering when one of the knobs on the faucet flew off, hit him in the leg, and wouldn’t screw back on. lucky for us, my landlord was around the corner because he’d just dropped me off after our visit to home depot, but for the love of christ. our kitchen window is a fucking cardboard box (barely) holding on with painters’ tape.

it has been the slowest moving process of my entire existence, and that’s sad considering i’ve moved nine times in the last five years. i am getting chest pains every time i think of all the work left to do. i’m heartbroken to be selling the one piece of furniture i am so completely in love with because it won’t fit through the front freaking door. and i can’t even get a new couch until i sell this one, because i need the money for it considering i’m a broke ass.


i’ve had the opportunity to get more work done two or three times this week, but i’m sick of humans and strangers being in my house. the landlord, the contractors, the cable guy, the internet guy… i appreciate the help my family and friends have been offering but i am so sick of wearing pants. and i am so over all the blisters from building shit and painting all the time. and i just want things to be finished.

and yes, this is me whining like a four-year-old because i didn’t fucking sign up for this bullshit (well, sort of. to a certain extent).

/end rant.

moose and i had to be up early saturday morning for the cable guy, so we just cuddled and watched some tv together

and i am only posting this because i actually spend every waking moment talking to jessi… she is my long distance lover, and i actually talk to her more than any other human in the universe. more than my actual local friends. and we send each other stupid pictures constantly, and this was no exception… she wanted a picture of my outfit before i left the house saturday night, but first i sent her this with the caption “wtf, every pair of tights i own has some pretty questional holes!”

…case in point

my good friend julie is leaving for BC forever :( … on saturday we got to have a nice girlie dinner with some friends and then head back to her place for some drinks. here’s julie being silly!

on sunday dan and i spent literally the entire day in bed together, it was perfect, and it was nice to soak it all in FOR ONCE! we didn’t get out of bed until 4pm!

my handsome babies

i don’t know if this is too dark for you to see, but moose is passed the fuck out! and i am watching the crazies on tmn… perfect sunday night while dan was at band practice.

i’ll check back when i’m less wrist-slitty.

send love, please :(


i have nothing to sit on and i want to cry

oh, please! i just moved… as if this was going to be a positive post.

but for seriously. the move went 99% perfectly. we had a few beers with them at 10am and one of them even looked like ice T… like, it was uncanny. and he told me i was “fit”. it was pretty awesome. they even had matching pony tails. my life is basically a law & order SVU episode.


so it went ALMOST perfectly.


in case you can’t tell, that’s my couch. my brand new $1300 brown leather sectional sofa. that won’t fit into my goddamned apartment.

cue psycho with neck tattoos going ape-shit.




i was being really rationial, obviously.

lucky for me, a friend of mine moved into my old place and he doesn’t currently have a couch, so he has no problem couch-sitting until i get my shit sorted. essentially i have to call to see if they’ll trade me for a couch that WILL fit, or give me some money back, or something. if not i have to sell it and buy a new one while still making payments on this one.


not only that… we were planning on picking up a really awesome vintage sofa from my gam-gam’s place sometime this week for the mancave, but after attempting half of my sectional, and not even being able to fit THAT through, i know we have zero chance with gam-gam’s couch.

i refuse to have anything but a sectional in our main living room because the room is perfect for a sectional, i have been waiting forever to have one, they look good, and they are SUPER comfortable. i’ll have to find one that comes apart in pieces smaller than the one i have. not to mention mine is REALLY bulky and wide, so there’s that.

as for the mancave? we’re going to have to settle on a smaller loveseat or something. which really bums me out because it could use a bigger couch, especially that it’s a “hangout” room, and we’ll need the extra seating.


in other news, i built my first ikea piece on my own while dan was napping. i acquired like, six blisters and i totally used a hammer, but WHATEVER! it looks great!

the bedroom is mostly done, except for a few things to hang on the wall still (hooks, maybe a few more paintings or posters), but otherwise it’s basically finished! it’s beautiful and relaxing, and i am so excited with the end result. this is the view from the bed

and normally, with all the moving i’ve done, moose the cat has always had a REALLY hard time adjusting. he won’t sleep, he barely eats and he’s a total head case. he normally spends the first two weeks hiding wherever he can. but this time? the minute i let him out of his cat taxi, he started sniffing around, playing, finding new places to nap. he’s been AWESOME, and i’m so happy that this place doesn’t make him anxious at all. i woke up the first morning in the new place to a very relaxed moose sleeping at my feet.

here he is exploring the mancave

i finally had a night to myself last night… and it was AMAZING. i went grocery shopping and bought tons of fresh and healthy food, and lugged the like, 45lbs of it back to my apartment alone, on foot. that in itself was a huge work-out! i wanted to be upset about it but it felt good to get some fresh air and work my muscles a bit. not to mention, the three flight climb to my apartment with that much extra weight on? holy hell. and then i made myself a nice dinner, watched all my stories, made some tea, had a bubble bath, made cookies, and ate them in bed with a big glass of milk. it was SO relaxing, and i totally needed it.

i still can’t get over how much character this place has. it’s so adorable, and the bathroom is probably one of my favourite rooms in the house. here are some pictures i took from the tub…

do i look tired?

… because i am fucking exhausted