when i was younger, one of my childhood best friends nakia got me hooked on the chicken soup books. she read me a poem called somebody should have taught him, and i was instantly hooked. i’d sit in my pink bedroom reading it over and over until i knew every single word by heart. i started writing in journals then- i even remember the first poem i’d ever written:
love is like a beautiful white dove
it flies up so high
not even wondering why
it comes and goes
it goes and comes
just like love
and the little white dove
i was nine years old.
ever since that day, i’ve had tons of journals and blogs. when i finally left m for the last time, i compiled every single blog/journal entry i’d ever written about him since i met him when i was sixteen, and turned it into a book. most entries were left un-edited, and it’s been sent in for layout. it’s been a long process and i don’t know if or when it’ll ever actually be published (it’s a long process, and it requires money!), and all those blogs have been deleted since then.
writing has been both uplifting, and heart-breaking for me. if it weren’t for my blogs, i probably wouldn’t remember half of what happened with m. i have days, months, and years worth of my life written down. one night, a few weeks before leaving him, we laid in bed and i read some of those old posts to him, while he cried quietly and played with my hands. i emphasized on all the pain and anger in those posts- all the terrible things he (totally forgot) he did. the easiest part about leaving him was being able to immerse myself into the past; into those posts, and truly remember how awful he made me feel constantly.
i’ve had a few readers comment on here, or email me personally to tell me how much they appreciate my writing- to tell me that i’ve touched them in some way… and that’s the biggest honour to receive as a writer- to have someone come forward and tell you they appreciate you, or thank you for putting into words what they haven’t been able to articulate.
i’m so lucky to have made new friendships with some of these people- some i speak to daily, or send text messages to, or receive emails from, and i LOVE that. i’m happy i stepped outside of myself and created a blog again and have had the opportunity to “meet” so many cool people.
the amount of comments i get is nowhere NEAR the amount of visits my blog gets on a daily basis.
whether you comment here regularly, you’ve only said hi once, or you’ve never said anything at all- i’d love to get to know all of you a little better! i’ve come up with a few fun questions you can fill out in the comments section (or you can send me an email if you’re shy, firstname.lastname@example.org)
hi! i’m elle, but you can call me e
my favourite colour is: yellow & gold
my favourite book is: dangerous angels by francesca lia block
my favourite movie is: home alone 1 & 2, true romance
three bands i currently have on repeat are: seabear, the polar bear club, the jim yoshi pile-up
if i could be anywhere right now, i’d be: on a beach in the dominican republic, or my bed
tea or coffee: coffee, though i usually drink tea
my biggest fear is: car accidents, not having children
people think i’m weird because: i LOATHE cucumbers & pt cruisers, and i can’t peel oranges or swim
in five years i want to be: married, at the very least
my kids names are: n/a
my dream job would be: accomplished writer, stay-at-home-mom
people say i’m: quirky, funny, impossible
i think i’m: exhausting
the song i relate to most is: engine driver, by the decemberists
now it’s your turn- i want to get to know a little bit about you!